


what could have been

by Inarchem



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Ultimate Sacrifice Verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:37:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12200469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inarchem/pseuds/Inarchem
Summary: “Six years already, eh?” he chuckled, uncorking the wine and taking a swig of it for himself. “I think they’ve been kinder to you, than to me. Funny how things work out like that, eh?”In which Zevran pays a visit to old memories.





	what could have been

**Author's Note:**

> based on the original comic by [remington-zero](http://remington-zero.tumblr.com/post/100222430930/heres-to-us-what-was-and-what-could-have-been). please support this artist <3

Roses and wine. Items often brought as a lover’s apology or a celebration, but today, he brought them to a monument under the stars.

Heaving himself up onto the stone base (not as lightly as he might have done six years ago), Zevran took a moment to lay the roses by the feet of the stern, triumphant likeness of his Warden.

“Six years already, eh?” he chuckled, uncorking the wine and taking a swig of it for himself. “I think they’ve been kinder to you, than to me. Funny how things work out like that, eh?”

Leaning back, he rested a hand against the smoothly carved stone and closed his eyes. Moments like these were dangerous– far more than any assassin. Like this, with the cool Ferelden air lightly combing through his hair, he could imagine that it was a set of fingers instead. He could hear the crackle of a fire, the snuffling of his Warden’s mabari. The rise and fall of his lover’s chest against his back.

Any other day, he would try to distance himself. It was the reason why he had avoided this place– this monument. He had his sweetness with the Warden, now it was time to live in the present.

But now, he found himself dwelling on memories that had gone untouched for so long. How his lover’s eyes had flashed in the firelight, how his earring had gleamed upon their ear. The hushed whisper of his name under the cloak of stars, in nights much like this one.

Against this stone monument, he could imagine that instead of rock, it was warm flesh and smooth leathers he leaned against– a chest that would shake in laughter as he told tale after tale of his exploits in Antiva. It was almost too much. But on this night, he let himself remember how possible things had seemed then, despite having no guarantee of living to see the next day.

Closing his eyes, Zevran could almost delude himself that he could feel that familiar hand against his cheek. Or that the gust of wind carried soft words of adoration, whispered in an intimate tone. But when he opened his eyes, he saw that he was alone. 

“It wasn’t fair, mi amor,” he murmured, his eyes growing cloudy. “We had such plans. You would have been the hero of the Fifth Blight, and I, your dashing lover. But the world took so much from you and it kept taking until there was nothing left. Ah… I suppose I wasn’t an exception, eh?”

Was it his fault, for thinking things would have been resolved so easily? For grasping for more than he was given, for the first time in his life? For believing that he, of all people, had a future?

Upturning the bottle, he left the wine to water the ground at the foot of the statue. “Perhaps I could not have made you happy,” Zevran said, glancing back with a smirk, even as his throat grew tight . “Perhaps such was never our fate. But I will never regret those days I shared with you, mi amor. You shall always stay in my heart.”

A sigh passed through him, as he turned his gaze to the stars. “I miss you, you know. Oftentimes, I find myself wondering how these six years would have passed, if I had been by your side. Perhaps you know peace now, and the passage of time is nothing for you. But these six years have felt like six lifetimes without you. I miss you,” he repeated, his eyes burning as slips of tears fell down his cheeks. “More than I can bear.”

Watching the dawn slowly peek over the horizon, Zevran felt a rush of melancholy, desiring nothing more than to experience this moment by the side of his love. But the sunrise was frigid, bringing nothing but fog and chill to his bones and weary heart. Soon enough, the commonfolk began to leave their houses to begin the new day, almost none of them noticing the abandoned roses left at the foot of their champion’s statue.


End file.
